izigame.me

About two years ago i wrote a review for Resident Evil 5, where i said that i had yet to play a downright objectively bad Resident Evil game. oh well, seems that day has finally come.

initially i never planned to buy this game, but when i saw it on sale a couple of days ago for like 4 Euros, i decided to get it, even though it was just to complete my Resident Evil collection and maybe have a good laugh or two at how bad the game probably is. and dear lord, have i gotten my money’s worth here. this game makes Operation Racoon City look like the holy grail of gaming.
Umbrella Corps is an RE spin-off that seemingly wants to compete with games like Left 4 Dead. it‘s a coop third-person-shooter with zero variation. it gives you only three basic objectives:
1: kill a certain amount of zombies and collect the DNA samples they drop after their defeat.
2: collect five briefcases scattered around the map.
3: get to five different areas on the map and defend them all for about 15 seconds.
you won’t do anything remotely different. just those three things. over and over and over again.
not only that there is nearly no variation in the objectives. the rest of the game is equally sparse: there are basically only about half a dozen very small and boring maps and the enemy roster is limited to zombies and zombie dogs (and really annoying crows on a few maps, if you want to count them).
so many things in this game feel completely useless and you‘ll constantly just ask yourself: „why? what is this for? what is the purpose of this? what am i playing?“
The first person iron sight view is almost completely useless, since you are fighting close range combat the whole time.
the grenades are useless because they barely do any damage.
the sprint- and crouch-buttons, radar and minimap are almost completely useseless since you simply never use all this sh*t.
the cover system is useless since you only fight zombies and zombie dogs that (surprise, surprise) have no weapons and don’t shoot back.
And finally, almost all of the firearms are somewhat useless because your melee weapon (a pickaxe) breaks the game. it is a one-hit-kill weapon that can kill multiple enemies with one fell swoop, that doesn’t need ammo and doesn’t need to be reloaded, so you‘ll most likely end up running around and just beating the living sh*t out of everything with a f*cking pickaxe.
there are no cutscenes and the little bit of writing that is there in the so called single player story campaign is awful, pointless and borderline embarrassing. Needless to say that the online community for this game was already dead on arrival.
it‘s not even fun to write a review for this game because from a technical standpoint it is a functional, playable coop-third-person-shooter and it is so painstakingly dull, repetitive, boring and below average on all fronts that you can barely find anything outstandingly bad you could rant about. but overall this game is bad, believe you me, it is bad and you will despise it, especially if you are a RE fan. only a completely freaked-out psycho-nutcase would consider paying any money for this, let alone the full price.
So without further ado, let me just describe my quintessential experience with this game:
During the first 15 minutes it seemingly ain‘t all that bad.
After the first 30 minutes it‘ll start to get old.
Within the first hour it will start to moderately piss you off.
After one and a half hours you’ll just be staring at your screen with a dull, mindless facial expression, all while drooling over your keyboard like a zombie and occasionally smashing your head on the table over frequent bursts of rage, aggression and frustration.
If that sounds fun to you, i‘ll be the least person to stop you from buying Umbrella Corps.
Wow, Capcom…i mean…wow. To say it like Angry Joe already did in his review: Obviously you yourself were so embarrased over this game that you didn't even dare to put Resident Evil officially in the title, even though it is obviously set in the Resident Evil Universe without any doubt. You knew it was sh*t, and you knew it would stain this great franchise.
So far my personal worst game of 2016. I'd rather watch Resident Evil: The Final Chapter ten times in a row than playing this game again any time soon. Wertloser Schmutz.
__________________________________________________________________________
UMBRELLA CORPS
Genre: Third-Person-Shooter
Release: Q2 2016
( ) 0/8 Simply one of the worst games ever made. Don't waste any money on this.
(X) 1/8 Bad. Seriously flawed with barely any redeeming qualities. Worth a couple of Cents at best, if at all.
( ) 2/8 Sub-par. Only for hardcore-fans of respective genre / series. Don't pay more than 5 bucks.
( ) 3/8 Meh-diocre. It‘s okay. Don't pay more than 10 bucks.
( ) 4/8 Decent, but not for everybody. Don't pay more than 15 bucks.
( ) 5/8 Good game, Must-play for genre- / series-fans. Worth 20 to 25 bucks max, if you are not a fan.
( ) 6/8 Great game, universal recommendation. 30 bucks would be a steal for this.
( ) 7/8 Outstanding game, a milestone of it‘s respective genre. Definitely worth its full prize.
( ) 8/8 Simply one of the best games ever made. Get this, the prize doesn't matter.