Tekken 8: Heihachi Mishima Review (Croft95)
Sorry Namco but not even Heihachi can save this shit game.
The inclusion of Heihachi really shows how Tekken 8 is essentially a giant slot machine and an over-the-top version of rock, paper, scissors where if you guess wrong, you die. It highlights how far the gameplay has regressed into cheap guesswork. It's exhausting, boring and no longer encourages actual long-term engagement with learning Tekken's fundamentals. Why bother anymore? Just mash strings, abuse heat and spam mix-ups and get that online rank which no longer carries any weight. Heihachi's another boring stance-based, 50/50, rushdown character just like every other character in this trash game.
The story mode that re-introduces Heihachi is also awful. Namco decided to ruin one of the few genuinely moving story moments that they've crafted over the last decade by retconning Heihachi's death. You thought Kazuya dumped Heihachi into a volcano? Well actually it turns out a flying monk (no seriously) flew in at the last moment and whisked him away to a secret temple so that he can headbutt a meteor. Tekken's never been known for its quality storytelling but even by those very low standards this is particularly shit.
On top of all that, as if this game's excessive monetisation couldn't get worse, you now have to buy stages separately, despite no previous precedent being set for this. More nickel-and-diming of the fans that have actually stuck by this deeply flawed game. If people want to continue to waste their money and time on this unrewarding, hollow experience they can go right ahead, but I think my life and my time are more valuable than this nonsense and I'm done with the game. You should be too. (Especially the people giving jester awards, guess the truth hurts, huh? Hope Namco is paying you good for running damage control, remember that giving Steam awards increases my review's exposure! Stay mad and thanks for the free Steam points guys!)