Saints Row: The Third Review (Ch00p)
I've been putting off leaving a review for this game for a good while. Welp, this gem won't run for me on Win 10, so I guess the time has come. (& what do I know, maybe there's still someone out there looking through the reviews on this oldie :D)
In all my gaming time there've been 2 games so far that made me laugh particularly hard, & I mean laughing till your eyes tear up and your sides hurt, you click your mouse with shaky fingers and do some dumb shit that makes you laugh even more kind of thing. As you might've guessed, SR3 is one of them.
(For those curious, the other one would be Sid & Al's Incredible Toons. Played it as a kid, replayed it as an adult with my bro, and the process of finding the most ridiculous yet working solutions was absolutely hilarious. Nostalgia, of course, played a role. But I digress.)
The SR3 main story, which you can play in co-op, basically makes you the hero of your own action movie that is so bad it's good, really-really effin' good. Like a (better) Nic Cage movie on steroids. The missions are dynamic, keeping you hooked and wondering what the hell they gonna come up with next. Each chapter ups the ante in intensity and ridiculousness of the plot, never disappointing. To sum up the vibe of this game, one could say it's like GTA and Archer had a baby, and it came out purple.
When you think it couldn't get any better because you've beaten the game, well it can - play it again, but switch voice to 'zombie'. It's... beautiful. Glorious, even. Not an experience you want to miss. Flip off passers-by while making growly sounds. Hit 'em in the crotch if they disapprove! In fact, I did just that for god knows how long on my first playthrough. Ended up getting carried away, played zombie from the start and then had to replay with normal voice so I could actually understand the plot. Worth it!
Once you're done with the story you have yourself a whole city to inflict random mayhem upon, all while cruising through the streets with your fancy car (bike/tank/broom) pimped up to the max. When that gets old, there's also survival - the "Whored mode". I think that one speaks for itself. Replayability-wise I guess it depends. After 3rd replay I personally got a little jaded. Once you've taken it all in, beaten every minigame a few dozen times, & gotten to the point where upon seeing a smart car (=Emu) in the street you notice a mild regret of not having access to an RPG, well... you kinda hit a limit to how much Saints' spirit you can imbibe.
It's like a crazy memorable theme park you don't want to live in long term, but you do want to revisit a couple of times, for a measured dose of over-the-top chaos and destruction. Go grab a mate. Dress up. Run around, threatening the populace with giant dildos. Surround yourself with a crew of extraordinary gimps and ninjas. Fling gimps & ninjas & an accidental hooker from the rooftop of your penthouse to see which one flies better. *cough* Yeah, go nuts.
I also recommend you pick up a few DLCs; some skins and weapons were fun to have. Do take a look at Genkibowl, especially if you've ever dreamed of rolling over your neighbor's house in a giant ball of yarn. Meow meow mothaf*cka!
One caveat though. The biggest issue of this game, in my experience, has been the multiplayer. So many, many crashes. When a teammate times out you have to restart the mission to sync up progress, often from scratch, and doing it 2, 3, sometimes 4 times in a row kills a lot of the fun. This, besides the game being pretty old and potentially having issues on a modern system, could be a real dealbreaker for some.
& If you found any sort of thing that I've mentioned to be completely distasteful, well, you now know to stay away. ;)