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Saturday, October 14, 2023 1:46:13 AM

Project Starship Review (QED)

This is bar none one of the worst shmumps and or games I have ever played in my life period. It both looks and feels like a flash game, and until I read the description which explicitly states it's purely randomized I had no idea if the banal and utterly monotonous quality of my run was intentional or not. Turns out the RNG is just so poorly salted you can get what I got, which is a bootleg Touhou clone that's so barebones it doesn't even have a sound effect for your shot hitting enemies, let alone the enemies dying. The 'enemies' are 90% abstract blobs and shapes, the music loops continuously, the ship has the SLIGHTEST of inertia on movement, just there to make you question your sanity and then hate turning. And, lo and behold, to top it all off, there's a stage which introduces collision damage from terrain with NO indication what is the terrain or that it's a unique type of damage. I just assumed I was getting hit by invisible lasers until I realized what I thought were pre-fire laser indicators were actually THE BOUNDARY OF THE WALL I WAS SUPPOSEDLY 'FLYING INTO'. No bump or screen shake to indicate I was smashing into something, no distinction from a normal hit, and there goes a run where I have otherwise not been hit into instant oblivion. There is nothing of value here and I question the sanity of people who were able to enjoy playing this game.