Phasmophobia Review (FragDAnvers)
"Phasmophobia: My Therapy Bill is Higher Than My Ghost-Hunting Success Rate
If you're looking for a game to prove your bravery, Phasmophobia is not it. This game single-handedly turned me into a quivering mess, convinced that every creak in my own house is a vengeful spirit about to drag me to the Upside Down.
My typical ghost-hunting experience:
Load In: "Okay, we're professionals. We got this. We'll use the crucifix, smudge sticks, walkie-talkies... we're prepared!"
First Foot In The Door: Lights flicker, a distant growl "Nope. Nope, nope, nope. I'm just gonna stand here by the van. Someone else go in first."
Ghost Event: A loud, terrifying scream, a flickering shadow darts past "I'M IN THE VAN! I'M IN THE VAN! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T TOUCH ME! I HAVE A FAMILY!"
Mission Complete (or more often, Mission Failed, But At Least I'm Alive): My heart rate slowly returns to normal, only to spike again when my own cat walks past me.
Pros:
Genuinely terrifying. Like, 'sleep with the lights on' terrifying.
Fantastic atmosphere and sound design. Every whisper feels like a personal threat.
Great for playing with friends and hearing them scream like small children.
Teaches you valuable life lessons, like always having a clean pair of underwear on hand.
Cons:
I've learned more about ghost behavior than I ever wanted to know.
My friends now know the true extent of my cowardice.
My in-game sanity often drops faster than my will to live after a particularly nasty hunt.
I'm pretty sure I now have PTSD from the ghost's footsteps getting louder.
Overall: If you enjoy heart-stopping scares, questionable sanity, and the joy of watching your friends wet themselves, Phasmophobia is a must-buy. Just don't blame me when you start hearing things in the dark. You've been warned."