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cover-Payday 2: The Goat Simulator Heist

Monday, May 29, 2023 3:05:43 PM

Payday 2: The Goat Simulator Heist Review (parsa.gh)

I mainly play on Deathwish, but this heist is just downright terrible and poorly-designed. Day 1 can be done accordingly as long as the teammates stick together and not wander off; Bringing sniper or any long ranged weapons is absolutely mandatory since Snipers are spawned 988,466,991 quadrillion miles away from you and will appear as a single pixel in your screen.
Day 2 is where things get hairier. You'll start off with gang members ambushing you (and guaranteed, your team will get downed at least 3 times during this phase) then there's the assault phase which is a clusterf**k but more manageable than Day 1. Then you're prompted with 3 possible RNGs for building the cage in the middle of the carnage (as well as 3 RNGs for where the cages will drop); then you'll have to bring all 15 goats to the cage and defend it from cops; You'll later be prompted to drive the Longfellow and get to the escape...
This phase onward is the very reason I'm giving "Not Recommended" in the first place. You'll have to rotate the bridge, which has a button behind a door that needs drilling. Now here's the fun part: the drill is facing right towards the spawnzone of the cops, speaking of which, the spawn rate is now F**KING TRIPLED (or doubled). You'll see at least 5 Medics in the same field, 6 Marshals along with other specials and this is just the specials. If the drills get jammed, you'll have to pray someone still has Upper aced cause it's virtually impossible to fix the drill with a terrible location like that. As soon as the door opens, you'll hit the switch then WAIT AGAIN (counting, this is the 4th time you'll have to hold off in a single day. this time against an unending multiplied spawn) and the spinning can be interrupted too.
I've never managed to get past that part in DW, but now I understand why this heist was voted as the least favorite heist overall in most polls.