izigame.me

The superficial elements of this game have a lot of charm. The entire art style is excellent and the game is great to just look at, and the corny Ye Olde Englishe accents everyone except Roland speaks in are downright funny.
That's it for the positives. The actual GAME is painfully mid, and way too long about it, owing in part to the lack of a Sprint function and the player stuck bumbling through every town and dungeon and even fight at a slow jog. The normal combat is probably the strongest part, and after you've played an hour you've basically seen all it has to offer. Instead of polishing and deeping that, it appears Level-5 just went down the Standard Japan Corpo Checkbox For Standard Game Standard and marked the boxes as they went. Gotta have PARTY MEMBERS (even though any three that aren't Roland or Evan are pointless). Gotta slap some BASEBUILDING MECHANICS on there. Gotta have MAP BATTLES. Protag gotta be a middle schooler for some reason. And because it's Level-5, gotta have piss boring procedurally generated hallways of trash mobs that are about as engaging as the dentist's waiting room (fortunately optional for the main plot, but required to recruit every citizen). Dropping all of these mechanics in out of an apparent sense of obligation meant none of them could be honed to actually being good, so each is pretty shallow.
All of that is still serviceable enough to be carried by a good story. But the story is garbopoopy, easily the worst part of the game. It's godawful by even the already abysmal standards of JRPG stories. After the prologue, a 13 year old literal child sets out to get every nation to join his ghey little Fantasy United Nations because "WAAAAHHH WAR BAD" in a plot only the most midwit of leftist Japanese office drone that has never touched a weight heavier than 10 lbs in his life could think is interesting or deep. After everyone tells him that doing so will be super hard and epic and blah blah blah it is very easily achieved by just going up to their respective leaders and asking twice if they'd like to join globohomo. Then everyone does and there's no downside after the fact at all. Actual communist propaganda is less shameless in its complete disregard for how things actually work.
While that's going on, the most obvious super villain of all time (he is green and wears some ridiculous gold cobra helmet google Doloran if you want a chuckle whoever designed him is a madlad) is popping up to steal wacky eldtirch power and Evil Laugh about it. In response to this, the heroes, our idiot babyfaces, just kinda go "oh wow that sucks we should look into doing something about that" and then they don't do anything about it for forty bloody hours. This clownitude directly allows to the Obligatory End Of The World Crisis (which does have a few spectacular cutscenes, the game does LOOK good the entire time) to happen.
Those are just the huge plot points that are idiotic. Many smaller details are also sheer clowniun. It's a tale told by an ADHD buffoon that can't hold one thought in their head for more than two scenes, full of colors and fury, signifying terrible leftist hippy kumbayah globalist bullhonky propaganda.
And I got this game for $3 on the Winter Sale. If I paid full price for such dreck, I'd be LIVID