Neon White Review (Zoe)
The year is 2008, imagine you're 15 and listening to a hardbass internet radio through your runescape client while you play call of duty 4. You quit pubstomping because your best friend pings you on steam and says get on vent, we're gonna do some surfing on TF2, a new map came out, it's also got sticky jumping in it. You stop playing at 10pm because you wanna go watch the cowboy bebop reruns before you go to bed. The world feels good.
Fast forward, the year is 2022, you have long covid, your memory is fucked and you don't know left from right. Someone puts Neon White infront of you, Machine Girl is blasting in the title screen, you swear to god you just heard a familiar voice you can't place, was that fucking Spike? You enter the first map and it's like riding a bike, fast forward two hours you have the #1 global time for three maps, your synapses are restored, your covid is cured, your pores are clear, your wifes boyfriends coming over tonight with pizza, and your landlord calls and says your rent is going down $400. The world feels good again.
The game feels like if god personally made Quake for autistic bimbos like me.