Mia and the Dragon Princess Review (Lorien)
From the very first frames, Mia and the Dragon Princess dresses you up in its FMV finery: instead of flat graphics, you get real actors, tangible sets, and camera angles that feel like you’re shooting a short film on your phone. Watching a modern-day waitress suddenly tumble into the heart of 18th-century pirate skirmishes is undeniably intriguing—but the script sometimes stalls, with plot holes sticking out like rusty rivets on an old wooden hull.
In ninety minutes, you’ll fend off corsairs, make your “fateful” choices, and witness multiple endings. Yet out of ten branches, only a couple actually feel distinct, and character development is more checkbox than drama. Gameplay boils down to QTE brawls: slash—dodge—kick—and the next clip rolls. Comic-style panels pop up now and then to break the monotony, but they’re so text-heavy you’ll feel like you’re reading your microwave’s user manual.
Technically, the game is flawless: no stutters, no crashes, and a soundtrack that keeps you pumped. The localization is spotless (well, except for the one “srpint” typo that only grammar nerds will catch). But locations are painfully sparse—one corridor, a deck, a torchlit hall—and after a while it all blurs together.
Ultimately, Mia and the Dragon Princess feels more like the cherry atop the FMV game cake than a standalone dessert: bright, concise, occasionally fucking awesome, but leaving you with an odd sense of incompleteness.