Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Review (PerkEdgyBear)
Ok, I can do this
Metal Gear Solid 1 is the third game in the metal gear series and the 7th game in order of the timeline. It takes place six years after Metal Gear 2 Solid Snake is a secret agent that has to Infiltrate Shadow Moses, which is a secret base that was captured by Foxhound, which is holding the United States hostage for the remains of Big Boss, who is the same guy as Solid Snake expect with an eye-patch. Solid Snake, not Big Boss, sneaks into the air vent to save the DARPA chief, but he dies, so you fight a man named Revolver Ocelot. But, your duel is interrupted by a mysterious ninja called Grey fox, a man named Frank Jaeger who used to be in foxhound but then defected to Zanzibar land because he was in love with a former figure skater from Czechoslovakia. because he is a robot, he has to cut off Revolver Ocelot’s hand. Then Snake finds a peeing man named Otocan, the son of a famous scientist who killed himself because his second wife cheated on him with his son. You see, Otocan father, Hal Emmerich, built metal gear Zeke for Naked snake and then Metal Gear Sahelanthropus for a man called Skull Face. This is why Otocan builds a super secret robot called Metal Gear Rex for a man called Liquid Snake, a clone of Solid Snake created from the DNA of Big Boss, also known as Naked Snake, who is both of their fathers, and he has an eyepatch. Solid snake is tricked into activating metal gear because Campbell thought miller was not Liquid Snake, but he was; it turns out revolver ocelot was actually a double agent the entire time and was secretly working for the third snake brother called Solidus Snake, who is also the president of the United States and has a doctor octopus suit with flamethrowers on it. He has an eye-patch. Are you following me so far? Next we have metal gear solid 2 this is were things start to get a little confusing 2 years after shadow Moses solid snake jumps onto a boat where he is confronted by revolver ocelot and it turns out he is now possessed by spirt of liquid snake because he grafted liquids arm onto his body so now ocelot is voiced acted by the voice actor for liquid snake and he blows up the entire boat and steals a all new robot called metal gear RAY then 2 years later the new president is taken hostage by the old president so the colonel sends in snake who is actually Raiden who is apart of foxhound but not the old version a new one turns out snake is the leader of the terrorists but not the real solid snake who is now know as Pliskin you see after you rescue the president he reveals that the entire democratic process is actually a sham staged by a secret organization called “The Patriots” who rule the United States from the shadows turns out big shell is actually a facade merely to conceal a super secret robot fortress hidden beneath it called arsenal gear which houses a power AI called GW which allows the patriots sensor and control the sense and flow of the information to stop GW Raiden teams up with Otocan sister who is killed by a vampire after they upload the virus to arsenal gear the colonel tells Raiden to turn the game off because he was actually a AI construct that was created by GW the entire time Raiden then has to fight 25 metal gear RAYS on foot with a pistol after the battle liquid ocelot reveals that he was actually a triple agent working for the patriots all along turns out the entire video game of metal gear solid 2 was orchestrated by the patriots to simulate the events of metal gear solid 1 so Raiden could get good army training ocelot is once again possessed by the spirit of liquid snake which declares that he is reverse quadruple agent who will destroy the patriots and jumps off a building then for no reason the AI colonel contacts Raiden and reveals that GW was only one of many AI developments by the patriots the true purpose of the simulation was to serve as a microcosm to society enter into the digital age the patriots were considered about the arrival of the internet and that humanity would become too fixated on trivial information like overly complicated video game story lines then we have metal gear solid 3 which is set 41 years before metal gear solid 1. Big Boss is betrayed by the Boss, who is a different person. Still, he doesn’t know that she was pretending to defect to Russia because the United States told her to do that so she could be a scapegoat for the Cold War. After being thrown off a bridge, Snake is tasked with destroying an early metal gear prototype called Shagohod, eliminating colonel Volgin, who has lightning powers and the boss with whom he is in love. He has to steal a secret microfilm which is worth 100 Billion Dollars. He teams up with a woman called Eva, also known as Tatyana and Matka Pluku and Big Mama, who is Solid Snake's mother who, in a shocking twist, is actually revealed to be a double agent working for China. She steals the microfilm, but it is a fake in metal gear solid five you play as venom snake.......... Metal Gear Solid 4 the real colonel brings solid snake out of retirement for the 4th time even though he is now 200 years old his mission is to stop liquid ocelot once and for all the only problem is that all the metal gears have now merged with the technology of a cow so he has to meet Drebin who has a little monkey Drebin injects solid snake with nanomachine so that he can shoot guns and learns that liquids new plan is too use big bosses biometric data as a key to take soul command of the patriots firearms control system the vampire working for liquid then throws big bosses comatose body into a fire because he forgot what the storyline was then everybody goes back to shadow Moses where liquid reveals his new battleship called outer heaven which is the name of the secret base where solid snake blew up big boss with a rocket launcher 19 years ago Snake sneaks into the core of outer heaven which is actually a modified version of arsenal gear and installs a secret virus that disables the entire AI perpetrated by the patriots this deactivating all weapons and the entire world but turns out this was all apart of liquid ocelots plan the entire time you see he was never was actually possessed by liquid snake he merely used hypnotherapy to make himself think that he was his true goal all along was to achieve world peace but also he wants to fight solid snake in a brawl to the death you see big boss was actually revolver ocelots greatest friend and idol even though he killed his Mom during they’re fight ocelot is exposed to the Foxdie virus which kills him because it was injected into snake by Drebin even though he should have been exposed to it earlier in the game and died but they forgot and that is the entire story line of Metal Gear Solid
But then, in a surprise cutscene, it is revealed by a big boss, who is still alive, that every single event in the entire series was fake and staged by the shadow patriots. You see out Eeyore.