izigame.me

That is one big pile of sh*t.
~Dr. Ian Malcolm

Releases like this are raging now. And it's a good thing. For many reasons. Time to admit – neither of us is getting younger and fooling around with retro hardware can be tiresome. As much as I like the original hardware's authenticity, having an easily accessible copy of a game in my Steam library feels good. It also helps bringing the new audience. Which is great, since lots and lots of those old games deserve to be remembered. Finally, preservation is a very important matter and having digital copies of retro games available to purchase is a good thing too. Also, some of those retro compilations are bitchin'. Take those Mega Man collections for example. CAPCOM included versions from both regions, they've added challenges, etc. And with the Jurassic Park franchise being a big part of my school years (you lived back then – you remember how big the dinosaur craze was), there was no way for me to skip this one. Is it good, though?
First of all, this here is done by Limited Run Games. Yeah. The Limited Run Games. Those, who take some old games, add some stickers and sh*t and then sell that for OMGWTF how much. Hence the ridiculous price tag of $29.99 here too. For seven old titles, most of which were made by OCEAN. First, there's a Jurassic Park for the NES. A diagonal-down action game, in which we're supposed to collect dinosaur eggs in order to get the ID cards and proceed further. Then there's SNES version that turned level-based gameplay from NES into an open world Zelda-like something with the indoor parts being done in FPS-like style. Game Boy port of the NES game is also included and so is its sequel. Which is more like a totally different game, similar to our usual run-and-gun stuff. The final OCEAN's game here is Jurassic Park Part 2: The Chaos Continues. Slightly confusing, yet nicely done something that is a bit too dumb to be called “metroidvania”, yet more complicated than typical run-and-gun (very often you'll run through similar-looking corridors while being on time). Finally, there are both SEGA Genesis games by BlueSky. Slightly rough, those didn't age that well, yet they're still very atmospheric and... Yeah, yeah, you can play as either Dr. Grant or raptor there.
Sounds fine, right? Well, it does. Kinda. I mean, it's hard not to expect more. Especially for such a price. SEGA Genesis alone had another game back then, The Lost World, which was more akin to what we had on Nintendo's systems, while there was also a SEGA CD first-person adventure. Neither of those are presented. Also, I can't help but want GBA titles too. Sure, DNA Factor was rather crappy, but Island Attack had neat survival horror vibes, while Park Builder was a very nice nod too good ol' Theme Park. Still, even with only seven games included, I'd allow it. But. Unlike Mega Man Legacy Collection (which also costs only $14.99 BTW), there's no fat. No new modes, no extras (aside from painfully bare-bone music player and language selector available from main menu), no even cover scans. Nothing. You get seven old games and... that's it.
What's even worse is that we don't get the original versions. Some people claimed this to be just a bunch of old ROMs piled together, but it's not entirely true. This here is a bunch of emulated ROMs, yes (you can actually use those with emulators, with much better result), yet what we've got is butchered versions. To begin with, all mentions of Nintendo were removed. And while removal of “Licensed by Nintendo” from games looks logical, having Genesis games called “Genesis”, while the rest being just “8-bit”, “16-bit” and “Portable” feels ridiculous. OK, OK. Copyright sh*t. I understand. See? Trying to be understandable being. But what did they do with the buttons prompts?! I mean, usually, when you play the game, you expect those to match your controller. Right? And when it's about the old/emulated stuff, it's OK for those to match the original controller. Instead, computers in the NES game here would tell you to press the “menu button” to exit (naturally, the original game said “press start”), while A and B buttons... are still presented in the original way. I mean, menu button means the Xbox controller, right? But, unlike the NES, Xbox controller has A on the left and B on the right. So, when the game says “press B to exit and A to repeat” during the briefings, it actually means “press A to exit and B to repeat”. What... the f*ck?! You butchered the original game already! Why not to do things right?! Heck, they even changed some sounds in JP2 for SNES! With no apparent reason!
The most important thing, though is... Why, in the name of all perverted dinosaur hell out there, frontend sucks rotten raptor butt?! I'M SORRY, OK? But it does. Exactly that. Think about it. Resolution is locked to 1080p top. In a bloody 2023. You want a way to play those old games on your big 8K OLED screen? This here is not it. Not only it's 1080p, there's close to no settings and only a couple of filters (the number depends on a game, like, NES and GB games got only one). And as for the emulation... *SIGH* Unstable FPS, visual glitches, bugs (game breaking ones included, I've got one in the first GB game, where I've stuck in a door), sound lags... Feels like some early emulators from the eons ago. We can save, but there's only one slot. Which can play some really nasty tricks with you during some parts (certain parts of some games can be pretty random). Rewind feature is presented, but it may use longer length and it only works one way. You went a bit too far back? Your problem. In other words, you can get way, way better result with pretty much any free emulator (again, you can use ROMs from this release). WTF?
The funniest thing, though, is that they actually had some good intents. For example, in frontend's overlay there's a map feature. Which instantly got me hyped because most of the games presented here can benefit from those. Even JP2 for GB wants you to collect some ID cards in order to progress and therefore having an access to level's map sounds like a good idea. Even more so in those bigger and more complicared games. Guess what? Only the NES game comes with a map. Well, technically, the game will show you the same exact map for the GB port too (since levels there are pretty similar), but since things like eggs placement and terminal activation order are different, showing the NES maps only makes things worse and more confusing. As for the rest of the games... there's nothing. The option will be there, but... It'll just show you the first NES map. Yeah. This collection is that bad. While looking on assets (despite requiring 2.5Gb of HDD/SSD space, the actual games are less than 10Mb, while the rest is just a frontend and its uncompressed assets) you can see that first SNES game was supposed to have map too, bu-u-ut it doesn't work. Because reasons. Why is the map option even available in games that don't support it? Why only the NES game has map? What's going on here?!
No matter how you look at it, this collection is... Well, we all know what Dr. Malcolm would say. It's a sh*t. An utter garbage that fails to deliver even the most basic stuff. Before paying for this – think 'bout it. You're paying thirty bucks for butchered ROMs that feel like running on early emulator. On Pentium 133. Do you really need that in your life? Thought so.