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a skele-tons of jokes!

Skeleton Jokes
Q: Why do skeletons love to eat at restaurants?
A: They can order spare ribs.
Q: Where did the skeleton put his money?
A: In the Crypt-o-Market.
Q: What did the angry skeleton yell at the man?
A: “I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”
Q: Why was the skeleton laughing so hard?
A: Someone tickled his funny bone.
Q: What is a skeletons favorite tree?
A: The Bone-sai Tree.
Q: Why won’t skeletons eat spicy foods?
A: They don’t have the stomach for it.
Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?
A: Bone Jovi.
Q: What kind of art are Skeletons really good at?
A: They are great skullptors.
Q: Why did the skeleton visit the museum?
A: To look at all the skullptures.
Q: What do you call a skeleton’s funny bone?
A: It’s humerus.
Q: Why did the skeleton run and climb up a tree?
A: Because a dog wanted one of his bones.
Q: What name do skeletons call each other when they make mistakes?
A: Bonehead.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the Body Shop.
Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite song?
A: Bad to the Bone.
Q: What is a skeleton’s second favorite song?
A: Bone to be wild.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have the guts.
Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite drink?
A: Milk, because it’s good for the bones.

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the school dance?
A: To find a body to dance with.
Q: How do skeletons send each other letters?
A: They use Bony Express.
Q: What do all skeletons say around meal times?
A: Bone App’etit.
Q: What is the skeleton’s favorite toy?
A: His deady bear.
Q: Why don’t skeletons ever get upset?
A: Nothing gets under their skin.
Q: What instrument does the skeleton play in the school band?
A: The Trombone.
Headless Skeleton Funny
Q: What do you call a tiny lie told by a skeleton?
A: A little fib-ula.
Q: How do skeletons call their friends?
A: They use the telebone.
Q: Why was the skeleton lonely?
A: He had no body to love.
Q: Where did the skeleton keep his pet bird?
A: In his rib cage.
Q: Who is the best skeleton detective in the world?
A: Sherlock Bones.
Q: What happened after a pirate ship sank at sea?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew.
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t go to work?
A: Lazy Bones
Q: Which character do skeletons like on Star Trek?
A: Bones McCoy.
Q: What American rock band do skeletons love?
A: The Grateful Dead.
Q: What is a good Valentine’s gift for a skeleton?
A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
Q: Why did the skeleton boy stay late at school?
A: He was boning up for exams.
Q: What did the golden retriever say to the skeleton?
A: Throw a dog a bone!
Q: What room in the house do skeletons avoid?
A: The living room.
Q: Why did the student skeleton go to the library?
A: He was boning up on Shakespeare’s Macbeth for a test.
Q: What did the skeleton shout at the vampire bat?
A: You Suck!
Q: What do you call the skeleton of a French emperor that stands at 5 feet 7 inches tall?
A: Napoleon Boneparts.
Q: What’s a name for skeletons living on an island?
A: Thoracic Park
Q: Why are skeletons bad miners?
A: Because they stop digging at six feet under.
Q: Where do teenage skeletons go for class?
A: High Skull.
Q: Do you know why skeletons have short memories?
A: It’s a no brainer.
Q: How come groups of skeletons don’t get any work done?
A: They are a skeleton crew.
Q: What do you get when you pat a skeleton on the back?
A: A spinal tap.
Q: Why didn’t they let the skeleton play hymns in church?
A: She didn’t have any organs.
Q: How much does the average skeleton weigh?
A: One skele-ton.
Is That A Skeleton In Your Closet?
Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
A: She was bone tired!
Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton get through airport security?
A: He was armed with shoulder blades!
Q: How come skeletons can predict rain?
A: They can feel it in their bones.
Q: Why did the skeleton laugh at the ghost joke?
A: He thought it was humerus.
Q: Why did the skeleton want to go out to the night club?
A: He heard it was a hip joint.
Q: What is a skeletons favorite fruit?
A: Spineapple.
Q: What did the skeleton bring to the pot luck?
A: Spare ribs.
Q: What’s the name of the famous American rapper skeleton with the initials MGS.
A: Machine Gun Skelly
Q: What’s a skeletons favorite ranged weapon?
A: A bone and marrow.
Q: Where’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
A: It’s hip.
Q: How do you know if a skeleton is sick?
A: He will be laying in a coffin.
Q: Why wasn’t the criminal skeleton afraid of the police?
A: He knew they couldn’t pin anything on him.
Q: What do you call a skeleton found in the closet?
A: Last year’s Hide-and-Seek Champion.
Q: What happened to the skeleton who stood too close to the fire?
A: He became bone dry.
Q: Why did the skeleton invite friends out to a movie?
A: Because he was feeling bonely.
Q: What do you do when your home is surrounded by skeletons?
A: You hope it’s Halloween!
If you enjoyed these skeleton jokes, be sure to check out our ghost jokes and pumpkin jokes pages.