Goat Simulator: Remastered Review (Halfmedia)
Goat Simulator 1 was one of the first games I purchased on Steam. I've loved the game for almost a decade and was very excited to see Coffee Stain make a remaster of it, especially after highly enjoying Goat Sim 3.
But unlike the original, this is more disappointing than funny.
Positives:
- I appreciate the discount for owners of the original game. Still not really worth the price, but thanks.
- Buck to School being added is also great.
- The mutator menu is a lovely addition. I think the hints on how to unlock each one will really help new players.
- The improved lighting and some of the new visuals look really nice, especially Pilgor!
- The gameplay is identical to the original game so a lot of the enjoyment from the original can be found here.
I'd love to stop here and say that this is a perfect way to play Goat Sim 1 but there are a decent amount of problems and odd decisions that just don't make sense.
Negatives:
- How did they make this game control worse than the original? Genuinely, I don't get it. One particular issue is that you can't run while moving left or right and that makes movement feel sluggish and awkward compared to the original.
- Why do a lot of the "updated textures" look worse than the original ones? The crane in Goatville is a prime example.
- I've experienced odd stuttering and performance issues that the original doesn't give me. Trust me, this game usually runs at an average of 100+ FPS, it's not my PC.
- I'm pretty sure some platform-exclusive mutators like the Midas goat are not in the game. I know it's "definitive" not "complete" but come on, if you're going to add formerly content-exclusive content, why not go all out? (Will remove if changed/found).
- No Steam Workshop this time. It's not a huge deal and I understand that it'd be a lot of work to add, but it is a shame.
- No profanity. Like the Workshop, not a deal-breaker, but this is a remaster. I believe the profane jokes were a part of the original experience and should at least have a toggle.
If you're a new player, you'll probably enjoy this game just fine. But it *is* a remaster, and I intend to judge it as such. This is not worth the full price. I doubt they'll fix any of the issues I have with the game, but if you don't mind them, I hope you enjoy the game!
If you're a returning player, do yourself a favor and wait for a sale. There's fun and nostalgia to be had here, but it's not even worth the price with the upgrade discount. For now, you're better off revisiting the original or playing Goat Sim 3 if you haven't already.