FIFA 23 Review (DarkVisionMY)
If FIFA 23 were a footballer, it would be that overhyped transfer who spends more time adjusting his hairband than actually playing. EA Sports has delivered yet another installment of their beloved franchise, but calling it "beloved" might be pushing it. It’s like they heard "if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it" and decided, "Let’s just break a few things for fun."
Firstly, the graphics are stunning. So stunning, in fact, that you’ll be stunned into a state of confusion when you realize the faces of some players look like they’ve been modeled by someone who has only seen humans through pixelated CCTV footage. Cristiano Ronaldo’s cheekbones could cut glass, but in FIFA 23, they look like they’ve been run over by a Zamboni.
The gameplay, oh the gameplay. It’s as smooth as a buttered weasel on roller skates. By that, I mean it’s chaotic and nearly impossible to control. The new HyperMotion technology promises realistic movements, but if by "realistic" they mean your players sometimes forget they have knees, then mission accomplished. Watching your defender pirouette like a confused ballerina while trying to clear the ball is something you’ll have to see to believe.
And let’s talk about the new Career Mode. It’s like being promised a promotion at work only to find out you’ve been moved to the basement next to the janitor’s closet. The addition of “cinematic moments” in Career Mode is a nice touch, assuming you enjoy cinematics that have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. Your player can now engage in thrilling activities like... sitting on a bench and looking pensive. Riveting stuff.
Ultimate Team continues to be the cash cow of the franchise. EA’s motto seems to be, “Why improve gameplay when we can just make more shiny cards?” Building your dream team is exciting, but the excitement fades faster than a New Year’s resolution when you realize your wallet is emptier than a footballer’s head after a long night out.
The commentary team is back and as lively as ever. They repeat themselves with the enthusiasm of a broken record. If you’ve ever wanted to hear the same fact about a player’s youth career in Shrewsbury for the 47th time in a match, FIFA 23 has got you covered.
In conclusion, FIFA 23 is like a football match where both teams forgot to bring the ball. It’s full of potential but ends up being a lot of running around with no real purpose. If you’re looking for a game to laugh at and occasionally play, FIFA 23 is your go-to. Just remember, it’s all fun and games until your star striker decides to moonwalk into the goalpost.