FIFA 22 Review (Hans Peter Schnösel)
Where to begin with FIFA 22? It’s as if the developers decided to take everything that could have possibly been loved about the FIFA franchise, throw it into a blender, and then pour the mixture into a server that's perpetually on fire. If you're seeking the thrill of football, you're better off knitting socks for your local Sunday league team than enduring this travesty.
The game’s ‘innovative’ HyperMotion Technology could have been revolutionary, but instead, it seems to have been designed by someone whose only prior experience with football was a half-remembered PE class from two decades ago. Players on the pitch handle like a supermarket trolley with a busted wheel, veering wildly and rarely going where you want them to.
Ultimate Team? More like the Ultimate Ponzi scheme. The mode is an insidious ploy to pickpocket players under the guise of entertainment, dangling the carrot of elite players in front of us, only to beat us with the stick of reality when we inevitably pull yet another no-name player from a pack.
But let’s talk about the online experience, shall we? The servers are as reliable as a chocolate teapot. You’ll find yourself disconnected from matches with such frequency that you start to wonder if 'server stability' is just a myth EA Sports made up to tease us. And when you are connected, the lag is so bad it feels like your team is playing in treacle - treacle that's past its sell-by date.
The ball physics are an enigma, defying the very essence of gravity and momentum. The ball floats like a balloon on a breezy day, making every attempt at a pass or shot a game of lottery. And tackling? The referees must be using a rulebook from an alternate universe where contact is a sin because you’ll be penalized for so much as breathing too heavily on an opponent.
Career mode remains a neglected wasteland, where the AI transfers and managerial decisions are about as logical as a cat’s strategy in a game of chess. And don’t get me started on the commentary, which has all the variety and excitement of a two-day seminar on watching paint dry.
In essence, FIFA 22 is an overpriced, underperforming shadow of what a football game could and should be. It's a soul-sucking, wallet-emptying husk that masquerades as entertainment. So, if you value your money, time, and love for football, steer clear of this digital doppelgänger of despair.