izigame.me

Duck Detective: The Secret Salami might be the perfect video game. I don't mean that as literally as it sounds, as there are many games I consider much better; but what I do mean is that if any single thing about the game piques your interest enough to buy it, I can (almost) 100% guarantee you'll love it. The plot is silly and well written, the cast is lovable and memorable, and there's a dedicated QUACK button!! How are you NOT playing this game right now?! like, come on! What is there not to love?
“I was a freshly divorced duck, not able to pay next month's rent...” so narrates our protagonist; Eugene McQuacklin, the elusive Duck Detective himself... wow, that's gotta be the greatest opening line ever written. I got the chills. moving on, the Duck Detective busily spends his days being all depressed, moping how his ex won't return his calls, and getting high on white bread (it's -no joke- treated as some sort of drug in this game, at least for ducks. guess you can call it quack); until that fateful moment the phone rang, and he got caught up in another case... it's... it's nothing really important. someone got their lunch stolen at the local bus station. that's it. guess it pays the bills (or gets another dose of, uhh, bread). BUT, turns out the mystery is a lot bigger than meets the eye, as the narrative twists into a tale of conspiracy, illegal importing, embezzlement, kidnapping, and SALAMI. One of Duck Detective's biggest strengths is the writing, particularly the characters. You have seven different suspects to question at the bus station, and not one of them feels like an NPC. They're all interesting, unique, and instantly likable. Sophie the Giraffe is a moody teenager who hates her job, loves memes, and listens to K-pop. Laura the Cat is a workaholic (and possibly an alcoholic as well) who's always mere seconds away from screaming her face off, and spends most of her non-working time complaining on social media. She's also best friends with Sophie. Freddy the Alligator is just the most adorkable person you'll ever meet, loving everything that's mystery or detective related; he considers himself to be the Duck Detective's biggest fan! Boris the Buffalo is a big, intimidating looking guy, but he's actually something of a sweetie; who has kind of a crush on Sophie. Margaret the Sheep is an older lady who spoils her co-workers with baked goods (...she's not giving out drugs, is she??); and she secretly wants to be a movie star. Rufus the Penguin is an older gentleman who thinks the kiddos in the office are a bunch of lazy good-for-nothing punks, but he really likes Margaret. He also writes some, uhm, erotic sci-fi novels, under a pen-name (which is just his name backwards. genius!). And finally, Manfred the Bear is a blunt, stern kind of person who owns the company (called BearBus, by the way. that's like if there was a bus company irl called DudeBus), and wishes he could spend more time with his family, and also wishes he had a better workforce. hey, finding new employees is kinda tough nowadays! anyway, one (or more) of these individuals is guilty of the worstest kind of crime: GRAND THEFT LUNCH!..and some more serious charges. Go out there and QUACK THE CASE!

Duck Detective's production values are absolutely perfect, if you keep the same mentality I was going for in the beginning. The game just oozes charm through every frame; with the soft bright color palette, simple 3D visuals combined with the adorable 2D cartoon characters, and fun eye for detail. Everyone's work space gives off so much personality; with Sophie's band posters and calendars, Laura's stack of energy drinks, or how Freddy drinks coffee from a (accidentally) stolen mug. I also thought it was cute how there were protesters outside the station, and their signs just had cartoon swearing on it, like “@%$#%” (woah, watch your mouth!!) and stuff. And let's not forget the real MVP here: Emma Levin. She wrote an entire page of the pinnacle of literature known as “SEXY ALIENS WANT MY NUMBER” (which you can read if you inspect it), and it is just peak fiction. now write the other 620 pages, please! I'd buy it! The magnifying glass mechanic is a lot of fun. Whenever you inspect characters or “crime scenes” (a refrigerator), everything will appear (somewhat) sloppily drawn, with the sharp details showing up when you move your glass over it; leading to some pretty clever clues (it also implies that Duck Detective is in terrible need of a pair of glasses). The game sounds amazing. Duck Detective unironically has some of the best voice acting I've heard in a long time. There's also a few names you might recognize here, like Lizzie Freeman and Sean Chiplock.... this is the weirdest Digital Circus fan fiction I've ever seen (...okay, it actually isn't; but still). The music is awesome, with some really smooth jazz (love the saxophone!); like, I can totally imagine listening to the soundtrack while doing something else. And to top it off, the game gives you dozens and dozens of definitely 100% true duck facts on the loading screen. listen to this: (*ahem*) “ducks are named after Sir Jeffrey Duck, who invented the bird in 1672”. well, isn't that food for thought!
You know a game is good when the biggest problem is you want more. Unfortunately, there's a lot of that going around in Duck Detective. First of all, the game is insanely short. It only takes about three hours to beat it entirely, achievements included. It feels more like a pilot episode than anything, especially since a couple plot points were conveniently forgotten about. like, of course I'll buy the next episode! I just wish there was more to THIS episode! For a game driven by your deduc(k)tions, there are a few logic leaps where you'll be like “is this really what's happening?...oh, oh it is!..that doesn't make sense”; and while Eugene McQuacklin refers to himself as a genius detective, he would've NEVER solved the case if everyone just freakin' closed their search tabs after they left their computer. Really, clean up your desktop after you leave for a break, man!! While the dialogue is funny and well acted, I wish there were more idle responses than two. Even Jake Hunter for Nintendo DS -the most boring visual novel I've ever played- did better than that. On a somewhat related note, knocking over garbage cans is comedy gold, but the game could've used some more environment interactions, too. On a different note, I always find the concept of meat weird in talking animal stories. like, is that considered cannibalism?? ...it might be, because salami IS indeed illegal in the game. And finally, the ending, where you expose the culprit(s) and (spoiler) have to make an arrest. It's great as is, but it would've been hilarious if you could've arrested everyone, not just the people who were guilty. hey, I just wanna see Freddy's reaction when his hero throws him in the slammer!! sure, that's not nice, but the rule of funny always beats rule of cruel! every single time!

If you're looking for a light-hearted mystery game, a funny game, or maybe just a game that looks cute, then Duck Detective: The Secret Salami is the perfect choice. Every single thing about it feels like it was a labor of love, and if this is the standard of quality for Mr. McQuacklin's next adventures; then consider me hyped. sure, the price tag might be a bit high for the playtime, but you know what? I think it (*ahem*) fits the bill. now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my room, having some, uhmm, white bread.