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Now we've all seen Let's Plays of guys playing Syphilitic Revenge of the Long-Dead Crusaders on youtube enough to wonder why the nerds are so obsessed with this game, right? How can they play that thing for weeks at a time? *looks at my hours* Well, I'm about to tell you.
Okay, listen, this *is* your grandpa's game. And that's okay. My target audience are zoomers/younger millennials who grew up playing The Sims but also maybe loved history class in school. Or maybe you also like Dungeons and Dragons. I'm looking at you. You're out there.
Crusader Kings is a really unique blend of a couple of things that scratch a certain itch for me. I loved history class growing up, I love inciting drama in my Sims' lives, I love RPGs. I've even played some pen-and-paper tabletop in my day, and that's what CK3 most reminds me of, in an adjacent way.
You control your main character, a ruler from the lands in or around Medieval Europe. (Previous games confined the map to a smaller area but as the game got bigger, so did its map.) This ruler is your player avatar and in CK3, you are encouraged to roleplay as him or her. (Sorry, obviously no support for nonbinary or trans identities outside of mods what with this being historical medieval Europe and all. Maybe one day.)
The ruler creator lets you create your own custom ruler - you can have one look like you, your friends, or a celebrity. I chose Willem Dafoe for one particularly memorable playthrough and founded House Goeblin of Ireland whose House motto was Fear Not the Goblin as I attempted to breed the ugly away. Duke Willem (later King Willem) was Christian but he was of the Insular faith, meaning he could have up to four wives. Lots of wives meant lots of babies and a whole bunch of progeny he did have. Through some careful breeding, I was soon spitting out Beautiful sons and daughters of Genius intelligence. They all just happened to look like supervillains.
This is but one example of the creativity you can have if you take the time to learn the game's mechanics. It's renowned for being complex, sure. But Crusader Kings 3 is lightyears above the second entry in terms of its tutorial and in-game encyclopedia. It takes a few hours to learn but many more to master. You'll be learning new things all the time, altering play styles, and mastering mechanics you've been trying from the beginning. But the beautiful thing is - there's no wrong way to play.
CK3 encourages you to roleplay and as long as you do that at least a little - or, you very much know what you're doing otherwise - you can't go wrong. Your character and every other character in the game has traits (typically three at adulthood) that can change the NPCs' AI. For the player, it can change their response to stress when events happen and when picking certain choices.
That's what brings me to the RPG element. Most people will say this is not an RPG and well yes, it is not a traditional CRPG where you fight monsters and collect bounties but it is a roleplaying game where you have stats, modify your character, and collect gold and prestige (and even inventory management with some DLC). You buy things and upgrade your domain with gold and likewise with prestige, however it also influences characters' opinion of you. (However, so can gold - as a well-placed gift - if you catch my meaning.)
I had the best time roleplaying as a very arrogant, callous King in eastern Spain that stopped just short of cruelty most of the time. He was only ever interested in himself and despite having a high Intrigue stat, paranoia consumed his daily life. He let very few new guests inside his court and as for the vassals and courtiers that were unlucky enough to already be his, he treated with an arrogance that befit only a King that thinks that he is above everyone else. He even thought he was above the Pope, so much so that when the Pope rejected him so much, he founded his own religion and converted his kingdom to it. His followers, most of them not liking him but fearful of him anyway, generally converted as well.
History buffs will be interested to know that you can simulate the lives of many real heads of state in realistic ways, currently from 867 CE to with playthroughs running up until January 1, 1453 right before the fall of Constantinople and the end of the Byzantine Empire. There is also a bookmark on September 15, 1066, a particularly interesting year for Christians and their typically feudal kingdoms and empires. Many things were happening that year, including William of Normandy invading and conquering England for himself (a wild feat at the time) but with your help, will he do it all again or who knows who might succeed in the multiple-way power struggle?
They simulated Harold of England having a tenuous grasp on his kingdom by giving him a negative modifier to opinion with his vassals, Tyranny, which makes it harder to rule as him. Harald Hardrade's alliances are all there. They gave William the Bastard high Martial skill, bonus troops, and a wealthy domain. And they made his first son with Mathilde, Robert, already the ruler of Maine. There are a lot of cool little details and easter eggs if you know a little bit about history and I could go on for hours. This is just the most scratching-the-surface bit of lore I could give you.
This is how I'm a regular girl and I have over 500 hours on this damn game. More to come. Oh and there's multiplayer.
TL;DR It's neat, it's cool. Buy Crusader Kings.
Check out Couples Games for more recommendations to play with a friend or partner.