Blood Bowl 3 Review (Kameradski)
TL;DR: Not only as a fan of Blood Bowl, but as a fan of gaming in general, I implore you to NOT support this shameless husk of a game that furthers the existence of corporate lies and incompetence.
As a major Blood Bowl fan, who has invested hundreds of hours in Blood Bowl 2 and has actively promoted the game, I can and will NOT recommend this cesspool of disappointment. The hype has been real and I truly believed the developers when they promised us that the wait would be worth it. It’s beyond me how they could have uttered those words on camera in good conscience. Blood Bowl 3 is a slap in the face of fans and newcomers alike.
Throughout the alarming beta and announcement of the controversial Blood Pass, I remained positive and hopeful. Right now though, I’m of the opinion that every single person who was involved in the decision making process behind Blood Bowl 3 should be deeply ashamed. And it’s not just because of the expected (a contemporary state of mind which is problematic within itself) server issues upon launch, but because the game is simply fundamentally broken, unpolished and shallow. What follows is a modest selection from the plethora of reasons why.
• The lack of creativity. In essence, Blood Bowl 3 is a digital reimagining of the 2020 version of the original tabletop game. This means that the developers are only tasked with making it work and making it look good. A mainly practical assignment for which they even had an extra two years in order to perfect and expand upon what’s already present. Apparently that was too hard because what they have ultimately delivered after a massively pushed back release date is shockingly barebones. Practically no team emblems in the game right now are different from Blood Bowl 2. It’s saddening how many commentator voice-lines are recycled. The number of items in the store at this moment is laughably minimal and they're all uninspired. I’ve seen many animations that are identical to the previous edition. There is no meat to this game, apart from the new stadiums (only one is available right now of course) everything is insanely low effort and rehashed material to the point that you start to wonder what they actually DID work on. What the hell took you so long if this shallow, sad reskin is all you decided to deliver in the end? Is this what you were so openly proud of in the preview videos?
• The insulting roadmap. Believe it or not but most basic features that are currently quite useful in Blood Bowl 2 are still not part of the game in its current state. There’s no pause system, no replay mode, no possibility to simply reconnect to a disconnected game, etc. Not even a simple glossary where you can take a decent look at the extensive rules of Blood Bowl is part of this atrocious initial package. The Blood Pass, which was advertised as something Brutal Edition buyers could purchase with the included 1000 Warpstone, is not available on launch. What was the logic behind that? And what’s worse: for the Blood Pass, obviously one of the most essential features of the game, we still have to wait three (!) more months. And that’s if everything is on schedule, which given their track record is absolutely no guarantee. I’d say that about 30% of what I expected to be in the game after all that development time has actually made it into the game and for some reason these designers act as if this is normal. Blood Bowl 2 is a more complete game than Blood Bowl 3 right now and, according to that roadmap, will probably remain so until the start of next year at the very least. What a joke.
• The glitches/bugs. You don’t need me to give you a list of the nonsense you might encounter because you only need to look online. They vary from minor annoyances such as the ball indicator being absent to impactful stuff such as the game freezing mid-game while your time bank keeps ticking away. It’s a mess.
• The appalling main menu. The confusing UI is one thing, but it wasn’t until the menu navigation that I started to lose my temper. It’s far from intuitive and showcases so many things that drive me up the walls. Picture this: you have a menu screen in which you can browse all the teams you have created. In Blood Bowl 2 you always had this coat of arms that bears your emblem and team name. In Blood Bowl 3 they decided to opt for a large yellow rectangle in which your emblem, hilariously one of the few things that is customisable, takes up roughly one sixth of the whole image. The rest is this universal yellow that blurs out the one thing that’s actually important. Honestly, who made that? What genius thought that was a good idea? Who are all the higher ups that green lit that crap? I’m no expert in game design but I can’t imagine messing things up this hard if I had been the creative director behind this game. These decisions straight up don’t make any sense and Blood Bowl 3 is littered with them.
• The microtransactions. Warpstone, the in-game currency, can be used to purchase optional cosmetics to personalise your players. Normally I’d be alright with this but these prices are ridiculous. Apparently there are also cosmetics that only can be placed on one single player, blocking out all freedom to reuse that cosmetic across different teams. Everything is just for looks and nothing affects gameplay of course. But if you’re not willing to sell your soul for Warpstone, there seems to be no way to have some variety in character heads for example. In Blood Bowl 2, without spending anything extra, you could browse a couple of different looks for individual players. Here everything apart from colours is trapped behind a paywall. It’s buy Warpstone or be stuck with the generic team. Especially for Blood Bowl, with such a rich customisation culture in the tabletop scene with its miniatures and paint jobs, locking most options to personalise your team behind these restrictions is against the spirit of Blood Bowl. At least have some free options to start us off with.
• The devil is in the details. Supposedly visible mutations on players on the pitch, a fan-favourite addition that really helps to tell a story with your team, wasn’t forgotten but intentionally left out due to money incentives. Apparently mutations made it tricky to visually combine character alterations with the player cosmetics you can buy with Warpstone. The team decided to boot visible mutations from the game in favour of the stuff you can get for actual cash. They didn’t seem to be bothered by upsetting the player base with this obvious downgrade.
Blood Bowl 3 is the amalgamation of most things foul in the gaming world. Creatively bankrupt, void of quality and inexcusably weak. The fact that games like these are released to the public, especially in the case of a niche game like Blood Bowl that has such a die-hard inner circle of true fans who want nothing more than to enable this game to flourish and improve, makes me immensely furious.
Do not let them get away unpunished with business ethics like this. Make a statement. If you share my passion for gaming, I invite you to be a part of the change we wish to see in our hobby. As long as we keep on pre-ordering false promises and accepting blatantly unfinished products on launch days, there is no reason for larger companies to treat their customers with the respect they deserve. I, for one, am sick of the “they’ll fix it down the line” philosophy that poisons our criteria for quality.
Refund. Be vocal. Do not support an insult to the fanbase. Vote with money by spending it on the games that are worth your time and money. Buy qualitative products so we can give the industry a clear message that is long overdue. In time, if we dare to consistently boycott games like this, we will be part of a gaming environment in which malpractices such as these will be a distant memory.
Cheers.