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Sunday, May 21, 2023 11:21:38 AM

Besiege Review (Excrescence)

Ah, Besiege, the pinnacle of sophistication and moral virtue in the gaming world. What could be more fulfilling than constructing medieval siege engines and decimating innocent windmills? It's a game that truly captures the spirit of peace and tranquility.
The joy of Besiege lies in the exquisite craftsmanship of your war machines as they elegantly crush battalions of brave soldiers. Who needs diplomacy and compromise when you can simply flatten everything in your path? It's the perfect opportunity to unleash your inner Genghis Khan and let loose your creative destruction upon unsuspecting peasants.
And let's not forget the fully destructible environments, because nothing says "fun" like obliterating a serene hamlet and leaving a trail of rubble in your wake. Ah, the sheer satisfaction of wiping out entire settlements while the villagers scream in terror. Who needs empathy when you can revel in chaos?
But Besiege isn't just about mindless destruction. It's a game of strategy and cunning, as you defend your creation against cannons, archers, and the occasional desperate enemy who's probably wondering why you're so fixated on their demise. It's truly heartwarming to witness the fruits of your labor go up in smoke as the enemy relentlessly pummels your war machine.
And let's not forget the level editor, where you can unleash your creative genius and torment other players. Who needs world peace when you can add sheep and peasants to your levels to add that extra touch of charm? Or, for a real challenge, why not throw in some archers or yak-bombs to keep your players on their toes? It's like playing God, but with more explosions.
Of course, if the existing chaos doesn't satiate your desires, you can always create your own mods or download existing ones. Because what this game truly needs is more ways to indulge in medieval mayhem. Why settle for the vanilla experience when you can add custom machine blocks, level objects, and even more destruction? The possibilities are endless.
So, step into the world of Besiege, where peace and diplomacy take a backseat to crushing windmills, annihilating kingdoms, and leaving a trail of devastation in your wake. It's the perfect game for anyone who has ever dreamt of being a ruthless warlord with an insatiable appetite for destruction. Because who needs a happy and harmonious existence when you can just build machines to wreak havoc?
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