izigame.me

A short horror/mental anguish experience w some replayability; its very, very good at what it's trying to do and, especially at this price, I do not fault it for size. The vibes are immaculate, the art and sound is charming, I love this experience wholeheartedly, it's creepy and harrowing and empathetic and emotional. Maybe don't play if you're particularly sensitive to themes of abuse, mental health, family death, and/or suicide; or maybe do, because I am and I feel... comforted having played it. Experiences you thought you'd like can turn intensely sour and traumatic quickly, and sometimes you end up loving and actively pursuing something you thought you'd hate.
// slight spoilers ?? //
I think it's a very good and astoundingly empathetic and nuanced depiction of how mental health issues or traumatising experiences can affect your perception and make you feel, how you cope, what the rest of your life looks and sounds and feels like during/after something like that. Some specific things come to mind, but, I won't ask too much of her. I just appreciate the absolutely heartwrenching dialogue for what it is, a fantastic depiction of a little girl who's scared, beaten, hollow, confused, and deeply anxious, because that's what matters I think.
Sometimes your own mind makes you feel stupid or selfish or afraid for listening to what's going on in it, even when you're the one talking. Sometimes a thought invades and destroys you, forces your attention, and completely undermines your ability to resist; I don't know if everyone experiences that, but I do. I felt the game leap for my jugular with every sentence, my eyes stung and my throat tightened from the word go. I don't think there's a more succinct way to communicate the crude and distasteful guilt of thinking such things about yourself and the world you're in, the monotonous agony of realising you've done something 'wrong' and spiralling to wrench back control of the situation, and the dissasociation it's wrapped in, listening to your own thoughts and realising they're insane, mocking and hating yourself for things you can't not do, time spent staring at the floor or into a mirror, repeating some ritual without even realising it. The way certain pieces of dialogue, some of the most brutal and vindictive one's in the game imo, are just... thrown on screen, with no alternatives, or ones that differ only in tone; you're forced to callously mock and laugh at her, and then you're forced to demean and undermine her, you're forced to doubt and disbelieve her. That's what I'm talking about, that lack of agency. It's awful and beautiful and it's everything to me.
I think my second favourite part is how it plays with perspective; throughout the game it's never actually clear... what you are. At one point, she calls you out explicitly, at another she says she's just talking to herself, there's some very explicit meta stuff going on as well. There's a big question as to how much of the dialogue you can choose is you, or her, or her intrusive thoughts; how much determination do you have over things? Are you an agent or more of an observer? A curator of sorts? At the same time, while it's an interesting question, I don't think it matters that much either, I don't think there's a satisfying or definitive answer that doesn't mess with the themes as they are, and they're what really matters to me. It even enhances the experience and message; how much of mental health is you just bullying and depriving yourself? Do you have a choice either way? If you did, what's to stop you from stopping yourself?
So yeah, an incredible and amazing game, and an experience I'll not soon forget. I found it genuinely comforting and friendly, and I can't stomach being mean to her. Getting her to the store, getting milk, and getting her home gives me actual hope and closure in my own problems. I can't fathom being in her position, yet I'm thrust into the middle of her daily life, and at the same time it feels like something I've done before, every segment echoing some moment in my own life. I won't sully and patronise this game with the act of rating it, just play it if you can, if you've the money and you're feeling up to something especially sad and guilt-ridden.